Attitude Shifting
(Coffee Cup Drill)
Practice shifting between emotional states at will using a neutral object
Quick Start
Proves experientially that YOU create your emotional responses. Not circumstances. Not other people. You.
Any small object. Your attention. Willingness to feel.
When feeling emotionally stuck. When you can't stop hating something. When reactions feel automatic. As daily emotional fitness training.
The Exercise
Basic (Like/Dislike)
- 1 Pick up any small object - a coffee cup, pen, phone, or anything nearby.
- 2 Generate a feeling of LIKING for this object. Find something to appreciate about it. Let that feeling grow.
- 3 Hold that feeling for 10-15 seconds. Really feel the liking.
- 4 Now shift to DISLIKING the same object. Find something annoying about it. Generate genuine dislike.
- 5 Hold that feeling for 10-15 seconds. Notice how different the same object now feels.
- 6 Alternate between liking and disliking several times. Speed up as you get better.
- 7 Notice: YOU are creating these feelings. The object hasn't changed. Only your relationship to it has.
- 8 End point: The realization that emotions are under your control.
Advanced Emotion Pairs
Same process as basic, but with stronger emotional pairs. Use these once you can easily shift between like/dislike:
- Love / Hate
- Interest / Boredom
- Enthusiasm / Apathy
- Acceptance / Rejection
- Gratitude / Resentment
- 1 Choose an emotion pair from the list above.
- 2 Hold your object and generate the positive emotion fully.
- 3 Shift to the negative emotion toward the same object.
- 4 Alternate until you can move between them smoothly.
- 5 Move to the next pair when the current one feels easy.
Applied (Real Situations)
Use this version on actual situations in your life, not just neutral objects:
- 1 Think of a situation that bothers you. Something you genuinely dislike or resent.
- 2 Generate dislike - this is easy, you already feel it. Let yourself fully feel the negativity.
- 3 Now deliberately generate LIKING for the same situation. Find something to appreciate. This is harder, but possible.
- 4 Alternate until you can choose either emotional response.
- 5 Notice the freedom this creates. You're no longer at the mercy of the situation.
Signs It's Working
- Genuine shift in feeling (not pretending)
- Lightness or humor about the exercise
- Sudden clarity: "I'm doing this. I make these feelings."
- Situations that upset you start feeling more optional
- Increased emotional range and flexibility
Common Challenges
"I can't make myself like something I hate."
Start smaller. Don't use your biggest triggers at first. Use truly neutral objects - a pen, a cup, a book. Build the skill before applying it to charged situations.
"It feels fake."
Keep going. The feelings become more genuine with practice. You're building a skill, not lying to yourself. The fakeness fades as the ability strengthens.
"I don't see the point."
The point becomes clear when you realize you can choose how to feel about anything. That's freedom. Keep practicing until you experience it directly.
Why This Works
Most people believe emotions "happen to them" - that events cause feelings directly. This exercise reveals the mechanism: YOU create feelings based on how you relate to something. The same object can be liked or disliked based on your choice.
This isn't about suppressing emotions or "positive thinking." It's about recognizing your role as the creator of your emotional experience. Once you see this clearly, you're no longer at the mercy of circumstances.
The coffee cup hasn't changed. Only you have.
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